Discography

below is the album cover for the second cd, i was the sky, with the lyrics below

1. when no one was listening (instrumental)

2. beneath the guise

In the tiny room, you brought it back to the forefront of your mind, to the tip of your tongue.

But the well was dry, and now you’ve got a life on your dirty hands. And with your dirty hands you signed away yours and hit the floor in a quick fall.

Go on sir, you’re in the company of friends, unless we discover your guilt beneath the guise.

But the well was dry, and now you’ve got a life on your dirty hands. And with your dirty hands you signed away yours and hit the floor in a quick fall.

You tied the rope to the bucket and lowered it in, to the end of the rope, but the well was dry. Now you took a life, something you swore you’d never do, as long as you lived. It’s not yours to give.

But the well was dry, and now you’ve got a life on your dirty hands. And with your dirty hands, you signed away yours and hit the floor in a quick fall. They slapped them on, and the cold metal burned your skin. But it was nothing compared to the memory.

3. the optimist

I thought of the perfect reply half hour after you said goodbye. So instead I settled for playing it all in my mind.

And I told you, that you owe it all to me, everything and anything. You’re nothing without me. You’ll see when you’re swamped in misery.

You aimed to prove me wrong, and with vengeance as your song, your personal vendetta carried you along.

Hopeful wishing never gets you anywhere, it only lets you down. I wished I could not discern the truth, that you don’t need me at all.

And you told me you owe it all to me, everything and anything. You’re nothing without me. Now you see because you’re swamped in misery.

4. not so careless

A not so careless flick of a cigarette into a trash bin. It ignited a fire and set the trap that your love got stuck in. We stuck our hands in attempting to save whatever we could grab. But what we fished out wasn’t what we put in, charred black and fragile.

I’m coming up with excuses to hold on to what was lost years ago.

I’ll testify it was an accident. It was always meant to last. And I’ll start to believe and slowly forget I’m creating my own past. But in the back of my mind I’ll always know it was a well intentioned toss. So every night I go back and I warn myself of the unbearably high cost.

I’m coming up with excuses to hold on to what was lost years ago. All this back and forth it confuses love with something else. But my mind it simply refuses to forget it all.

You’re stretching the rope to far, and its about to break. Now I’m doing what I always should have done. To set you free from me.

5. with your curse on our heads

You’d think the scripture on the wall would have deterred the fall or at least have brought some conviction. But you’d have none of that, you let their whole world collapse as you made the one you’d always wanted.

And the whole town watched as you packed your things and moved into the city.

Taking anything your hands could grab to fill the hole you dug.

Quit the job, the church, the life. Oh you just might find a way to ward off conviction. Of course everyone knows you deserved better, but who doesn’t?

They watched through four year old eyes, as their dear old mother’s soul died. Given away to a man she barely knew, and of their destiny they saw a preview.

6. you had it all

If you loved him why’d you tell them lies? Now your true loved ones have all gone. Did you call him over just to see him weak? Now he’s at the mercy of the unwilling.

I know that I’m one sided but I can’t help wanting more than anything to see you fall.

This was the last straw and you knew that going in, a life void of you is not an option. On the witness stand we know you’ll testify, and send your lover to the chair to die.

I know that I’m one sided but I can’t help wanting more than anything to see you fall. Because you had it all.

7. seven minutes

Seven minutes to live, starting to breathe slower. An unbearable sight, as the heart beats falter.

You’ll never find light, with your eyes closed tight.

It was such a disappointing death, a wasted investment. You’re now left with three, instead of four.

There I bleed to death, all eyes fixed on their lost hope. But soon their eyes will turn toward the one they never gave a second glance.

You’ll never find light, with your eyes closed tight. Placed all your hope in one, and left none in your other son.

8. according to plan

Your mind unraveled and I followed it home. I still call it home because I never let you go. And I never will.

Twice I tried to call and both times got your machine. I knew that you’d been home and that you just let it ring. And you always will.

If I can’t have you then no one can. I know it sounds crazy but it’s the perfect plan. I’ll wait patiently until you leave then I’ll come right in. The whole 8 hours I’ll be waiting on needles and pins, until your red sedan makes its way into the lot. Don’t make me do this baby, you’re all I’ve got.

I am just like nature, trying to find my counterpart. I am just like nature, I destroyed my counterpart.

9. it took a surgeon’s hand

Wiped from memory, the green dress and the body that rested in it. You were filling four notebooks with the same sad story, the documented rise and fall from the top.

Buried in the backyard in an unmarked grave. A life’s worth of memories left unnamed. You were filling two cubic meters with your shame and your guilt.

What will you do when the wheel unwinds?

It took a surgeons hand to split. But you always run the risk of leaving unwanted parts in and taking out too much.

The green dress and the blue eyes, they always conflicted. It’s so much easier to fly when no one is listening or writing it down. They’re waiting on every word you say. When every word you say is the same sad story, the documented rise and fall from the top.

10. there was no time

Sixty-five the whole way home, one hundred and ten miles to go. Less than two hours to let you know the truth. This was much easier last night, because in my dreams I’m always right. Now I’m questioning the logic behind these few words.

I think I like the you I see every evening after I shut my eyes better than the one who parks her car in our garage every night.

Leg stretches out to slam the brakes, as our four-wheeled enclosure takes the air from the lungs of the passengers in the car ahead.

I think I like the you I see every evening after I shut my eyes better than the one who parks her car in our garage every night. You never knew the truth because I never told you. I never had the time. So I’m including my goodbye in your eulogy tonight. You deserve to know the truth.

11. a portrait of the imagined

If you stumble upon your broken body along the beaten trail, just let me know how to deal with the

shock of it all. If you stumble upon the long sought answer along the bloody trail, just let me know how you got there and how you made it out.

Now they’re walking all over you.

If you happen to notice the brightest colors every time they smile, don’t let them fade, you better rearrange so they’ll never get away. If you happen to notice my broken body deep within the sand, don’t dig me out for anything. I’m begging you just leave me there.

Now they’re walking all over you.

Could you ever have noticed the clearest glass that was covering my eyes? What you saw right through

left my vision skewed and the wrong picture in my mind. You’ve got quite an addiction to always finding the lowest low. Lost without a map when the times are good, so just never come back.

Now they’re walking all over you

12. to protect the innocent

I masked my intentions with slurred speech and clumsy stepping stones that never fade away. I kept the same problem, just switched the numbers around to protect the innocent.

It’s that same sad psalm that you’re doomed to repeat. And the sad sky wept.

I didn’t quite realize the magnitude of my mistake until I walked away. Being hit with the rational side of things is always sobering.

It’s that same sad psalm that you’re doomed to repeat.

Your hair was still wet from the sky unloading its troubles down on you. I was the sky and my targets were all of the innocent below. Not a care in the world but I brought them back down from their high perches. Just your ordinary everyday mass genocide.

13. treason

We ran slowly through the field, like every day before. And he watched behind the tree, and broke vessels in his hands. As he conjured up a way to acquire his newfound love. His mind turned to darker thoughts when his eyes found their way to me.

With his hand placed on the felt he swore to tell the truth. Then crossed his fingers and testified. His dirty lies convinced the jury and made my young dear swoon. She did not even flinch when it was clear that I would spend the remainder of my life, in a damp and dirty cell.

Now I spend my days thinking, of the wide and open field. But instead of my hand, it’s his your holding. I thought my love would wear off, aided by your treason. But now I’m on my last appeal, and it’s clear, you won.

14. in the room below

Put the quarter in the slot and press some greasy buttons that choose your yellow phone from the millions of choices.

And on the other end I hear a familiar voice when you say hello. You say, “hello?” and I respond with a click and then a dial tone. It always takes a couple tries to want to come back home. “Where’d you go so fast?”

It was never easier to draw a blank than when you asked me where I’d been. You said, “Where have you been? Why did you leave? And was it me that you were running away from?” I could not lie, I told you why I left in the middle of the night. It was the middle of the night, when I woke to the sound of you going back on your wedding vows in the room below. In the cursed room below.

14. Literal Intent

Fueling my addiction to everything that’s not you. Ignoring my convictions with someone that’s not you. I leave a note describing my most recent realization, that our love will never survive my most recent aberration.

I know I said, “Until death do us part.” But I never imagined another would have my heart.

You could not resist giving me your speculation. I said I would not divulge details. So you grabbed the handgun we kept in the nightstand next to our bed, and demanded explanations and a cause.

I know I said, “Until death do us part.” But I never imagined another would have my heart. And when I said, “Until death do us part”, the literal intent never made its mark.

below is the album cover for my first cd, disguises, with the lyrics below

1. the worst reply

Suspecting the worst as I pulled the car into the new clinic lot

Subjecting myself to test after test when I already knew the result

She’d always said she wanted so many around

How she’ll take the news I’ll soon find out, I’ll brace for the worst reply

Sir we’ll not know for a month, you’ll receive a letter colored white that will confirm or deny your long held suspicion

She’d always said she wanted so many around

How she’ll take the news I’ll soon find out, I’ll brace for the worst reply

2. disguises

Flaws are never taken well, even with the best of intentions

The voice in your head reminds you that your past will never be understood

So lock it up tightly, and never let it out, one tiny drop will cause collapse

But one vital thing forgotten, your past mistakes, they always run faster than you expect

Confrontation avoided for at least another night

Ignoring the inevitable crash lying ahead

So lock it up tightly, and never let it out, one tiny drop will cause collapse

But one vital thing forgotten, your past mistakes, they always run faster than you expect

lies always find the cracks, they come spilling out and ruin all your plans

exposing faults she never knew, after so long had always belonged to you

3. a letter colored white

I looked through your drawer, but didn’t find what I intended to

What I found made my heart sink, a reminder from two months before

A letter colored white, dated a month ago

What shocked me more than the positive result was your deceit

I thought it over and decided I’d tell you when I’m off

Rushed home, flowers in hand, with a speech prepared that explained

But when I walked in the back door, I followed the trail of clothes on the floor

I stopped mid-stride when the glittering gold caught my eye

Thrown out like a piece of trash, and yet you never had the nerve to ask

I backed out slowly so now you don’t know, that I know

4. the bare confession

You don’t know that I know about your time spent away

The sick look of counterfeit deception is written on your face

Plain as day for all to see, you can’t keep your secrets from me

It’s useless now, so please come clean, don’t drag this out for me

One quick motion, it’s just a second, pain is momentary weakness

I thought we had, an agreement, we confide in one another

It’s a different circumstance, when you’re down to your last chance

And drowning in your lies, and drowning in your lies

It’s a different circumstance, when you finally have the chance to breathe

But my cries bounce right back, the rope you hold goes slack

Nothing holding you, you fall into the black

Now the bloodstains are on my hands and I wasted my last chance

But it’s not my fault, it’s not my fault

I did what I had to do, couldn’t bear the thought of you

Without me

I cut the rope, now I confess

But I swear it was for the best

5. regret (instrumental)

6. the turning tide

What a shame to waste such potential

This spilt milk is worth crying over

Pouring out never to return

No second choices here so choose wisely

It’s a weird feeling, not knowing where you’re going

And not knowing why you’re going at all

Time was on your side but the tide is turning now

As the last grain of sand begins its fall

But who can blame you? Monotony gets old

Change to you is like fresh air to lungs

You’re allowed one final breath so make it deep

No second choices here so choose wisely

As the waves begin to rise, from the evening tide

You don’t even bother to move

You let it take you in, and it gladly does

And you greet your death with open arms

Will you greet your death with open arms?

8. predestination

Awake to three knocks

We’re sorry ma’am your son is gone

The casket closed topped with a single rose

A long slow march to the front, to reassure

But when he looked around at the few in the pews

With their eyes locked down trying desperately

To forget what they knew had to be true

The burning fire inside would not allow a lie

Let’s not pretend this man was a saint

Perhaps instead of mourning we should rejoice

One less obstacle in the way we all knew he’d never make it anyway

Anyway you look is to no avail

Predestination deemed he fail